This is a difficult day to write about really.
I went to a funeral today. It was for someone that I didn't really know that well at all, but I felt that I absolutely had to be there.
The lady that had died was the foster mum of 3 children that go to my kids' first school. She died of cancer. I didn't even know she had cancer until about 3 weeks ago, and now she's dead. She has left behind 2 of her own boys in their early 20's and her 3 fostered kids - one of which she'd looked after for 6 years. She had given them all a wonderful, stable, loving home.
She would have been SO PROUD of her grown up boys at the funeral. They greeted everyone who had turned out (and there were many) and one of her lads bravely spoke about his mum in the service.
I'm not sure what will happen to the kids now - I know that one of her grown up boys has already said, without a thought for himself, that he would look after them. How wonderful that a strapping, handsome young lad in his 20's could even consider taking responsibility for 3 young children....could you do it? I couldn't...
I want to hate cancer. I want to wring it by its neck, stamp on it, and grind it into the ground with my heel, but its not going to go away, and it's pointless wasting time and energy hating it. We have to live with it, we have to watch people's lives suffer because of it, but we have to learn from it and become stronger together because of it.
After the service, I hope that everyone went home and gave their loved ones a bigger hug than usual, their kids a bit more time than usual, and picked up the phone to chat to a friend they hadn't spoken to in a while.
I think that's why I can't quite bring myself to really hate cancer like I know I should.